Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
