my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
