the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
