I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
