Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This is my gift to your gina
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
