I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
