I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
