does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Randomize
