New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm really busy with my period
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