I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
