and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
