who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
