Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
