Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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