he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
