woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
