Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
