You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I cannot find my penis.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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