It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just want to make out with him forever
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
