I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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