I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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