I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
