Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
please come you make the beer taste better
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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