you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
