what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
