Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Michael Bay diarrhea
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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