i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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