This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize