quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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