you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
