you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
