no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
