IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
