I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
