i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
