it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
