so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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