So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
