wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
