we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
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