Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just pee around me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
