i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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