she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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