Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
