i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
