NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
