I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
