Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
