I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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