do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
