..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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