HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
