I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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