No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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